Wednesday, November 16, 2005
11:20 PM

actually, family isn't that bad afterall.

i've been spending alot of time at the hospital.
plenty of time to reflect.

somehow, i've made it this far - alive.
i mean,
i think i've sort of got myself out of this vicious cycle.
or maybe,
i've just learnt to be positive.

but then again,
i feel like as though i've been numbed.
maybe my wish came true.

i can't feel anything anymore.
its like as though,
my heads empty.
i can't feel anger, sadness or happiness anymore.
maybe there is no reason to be in the first place.
each day is just another day.
i just stay alive by breathing.

nothing matters to me anymore.
not even the fact that you love her now.
i feel like an empty vessel.

pretend, pretend.
then again,
maybe this cycle is just starting all over again.
i'm getting sick of this life.
and i don't need a reason.

played;