17 points for L1R4. many say that i should be happy with it. well, i can't undo history. though i know that i could have done better. it was within my reach, just that it was my choice not to work for it. i don't know where i'll go from here, but i'll make sure i'll be happy with what i do.
to try to understand someone is something so complex. time and again, i've tried to decipher your thoughts. i get a little somewhere, but you turn the tables round and bring me back to square one. i think i should just step back and stop thinking for once. out of selfishness, and for my own good.
its all in human nature to only believe what you want to hear. denial is so easy, we can all think of a 101 reasons to cover the truth. what happened back there happened. maybe because of alcohol, or whatsoever. i treasured what i had. even though, somewhere in my mind i was already thinking of the consequences. pretty memories have a twisted side to them sometimes.
sometimes, we've got to stop living for others. its up to you to interpret what i mean. meanwhile, i need some willpower to get over this. call me sentimental, emotional, clingy or whatever. i wish i could really fuck the world as easily as it comes out of my mouth. alcohol's a slut, not bitch.
